That's what it gonna be, could be, and always be...

Sometimes when everythings seems perfect,,but its not meant to be, so, it'll never gonna make it.....
And sometimes, everythings such ɑ complicated, kind ɑ mess, but it meant to be, so, it still feels lovely...

But that's what life gonna be, could be, and 'seems to be' like always be.....

And when everything feels warm, happy, and safe....just go for it,,,eventough it could be ɑ complicated one.....but I'm pretty sure that as long as you do the right thing,on the right purpose, then God will guide your heart....and He will be responsible for your problems, because He'd already give you the way....so, I think, no matter how hard it was, but its meant to be....so, just move on it....cause I know for sure, if you never gonna let God down,,never give up something that God ever give you....altough its been too difficult to be done, God will never leave you...

Just go get your happiness, no matter what.... =) and don't be afraid of anything!!

on the last day of 2009..

Today, december 31, 2009...

Many things happened in 2009...and for me, its not easy to forget this year,,well, ɑ lot of things, happiness, trouble, laughter, sorrow, presure,etc..haPpened to me this year..

I thought, 2009 would be ɑ great year ever....but the truth is, not yet..
And everythings happened so unpredictable...but still, I know, I always believe that happiness will come around us...cover up everything that have been messed up..

On this last day,,
An honesty will be so meaningful for me,,for moving on my life,,for making me live just like the new one...
Now, I'm listening to this song, and I think it still happen to me sometimes, this is an honesty,, and I gotta let myself know that I can live my life better after this last day...

_ɑ song by Alter Bridge_

"In Loving Memory"

Thanks for all you've done
I've missed you for so long
I can't believe you're gone
You still live in me
I feel you in the wind
You guide me constantly

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
And ill come home and I miss your face so
Smiling down on me
I close my eyes to see

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I carry the things that remind me of you
In loving memory of
The one that was so true
Your were as kind as you could be
And even though you're gone
You still mean the world to me

I've never knew what it was to be alone, no
Cause you were always there for me
You were always there waiting
But now I come home and it's not the same, no
It feels empty and alone
I can't believe you're gone

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me

I'm glad he set you free from sorrow
I'll still love you more tomorrow
And you will be here with me still

And what you did you did with feeling
And You always found the meaning
And you always will
And you always will
And you always will

Ooo's

And I know, you're a part of me
And it's your song that sets me free
I sing it while I feel I can't hold on
I sing tonight cause it comforts me
____________

# that was ɑ perfect song... guess I have to be better tommorow, on the 1st day of 2010,, so, I listen to this song, feels that i have to be honest, so that I can leave it all behind...on this last day of 2009..

Memories never been easy to erase...but we can still going on our steps to move forward, so, just leave it all behind...

I promise myself,,that I can do everything to complete my spirit...fullfil my days with hope and dreams that can still be true...because from now on, every breath that I take, it won't remind me of those painfull stuffs anymore..

I'm just the way I am...
I'm nothing but ordinary..
I'm everything I am because God loves me
And I realize that there still ɑ lot of people out there who will be my happiness, my spirit, my dream..

May Jesus guide my heart and make me strong,, and I wish loves may come around me for all this long time..

Said, Welcome 2010!!!!! I definetely ready!!!!!

"tell them all...."

"Tell them that you love them before they leave you"

Sering ga si ngrasa gengsi buat ngomong sayang sm org?? Even itu ortu kita sendiri, adek, ato kakak kita sendiri..
Klo sm pacar sih, ampe eneg2 kali yah blg sayang...tp bahkan sama org yg paling deket sama hidup kita aja susah kan buat ngomong sayang...

Krn pasti kita mikirnya, yaelaaah, gw sayang kog sm ortu gw, ga usah dibilang mrk jg pasti tau lah...hmm,,emg sih...adek gw jg ga pernah blg syg sm gw,,
Tp percaya ato ga, pernah sekali dia blg dia sayang sm gw, dan itu bikin gw terharu bgt, pdhl sbenernya gw jg tau kalo dia sayang sm kakaknya...
Cm dg kata2 sesimple itu, udah bikin kontribusi besar buat hidup gw....dr sejak itu, hubungan gw sm ade gw jd makin deket,,makin seru,,bhkan gw blom bisa matahin gengsi gw dg bilang sayang jg ke dia..parah, sama adek sndiri aja gengsi...

Byk org mikir, sayang ga perlu diomongin, cukup ditunjukkin aja...well, tp mnurut gw, somehow it feels different if you tell people that you love them..
Just let them know...before they leave you...
Krn gw ga akan pernah mau ngrasa nyesel krn blom sempet blg klo gw sayang sm org2 terdekat gw...and some other people whose make my life feels wonderful..

Eeerrghhh...knp si hrs ada kata gengsi, jaim, dsb...scr ga sadar itu semua bikin kita ngelawan kata hati kita...

Love always comes from our heart..
Love always sweet to tell..
It can never failed..
It always works..
Say the magic spell, I ♡ u..
Then, you can make their life seems wonderful..
And you shall never know how it feels when your simple word can change the way people face their life...

Klo gw, gw mau bilang :
I ♡ u mom
I ♡ u dad
I ♡ u oma
I ♡ u adek
I ♡ u guys
I ♡ u .... ***hmm.

Mulai skrg, gw mau coba beraniin diri to let them know that I ♡ them..

Is this really true???

Waktu itu gw dikirimin pesan berantai ky ginian nih,,dan pas gw baca...hmm...lucu juga nih...intinya sih fact about girls...stlh gw pikir2 ada benernya jg...yaah..mari kita liat bersama...

When a GIRL is quiet... millions of things are running in her mind.
(Belum tentu, bisa aja lg ngantuk atau mati gaya,hehe)

When a GIRL is not arguing... she is thinking deeply.
(Ini jg blm tentu sih,,bisa aja emang lg males berdebat..)

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions... she is wondering how long you will be around.
(Iiihh,,,kalo ini mah cwenya aja mukanya kepo...)

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds... she is not at all fine.
(This is true, its so true..hehe...)

When a GIRL stares at you... she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest... she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday... she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' ... she means it.
(Yeah,,I really mean it..but, how about boys?? № one ever know it, girls..*huufh*)

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' ... no one in this world can miss you more than that.


Life only comes around once, make sure u spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.
(Like this!!! Ya iyalah, gw sih risih klo ada cwo yg blg, "you're hot"...NGERI!!!)

who calls you back when you hang up on him.
(Hmm,,hmm,,yeah, pastinyaaa!!)

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
(Woww,,sweet...udah ky edward cullen aja...klo disini bisa diusir sm mama-papa keluar dr kamar...masa cwo masuk2 kmr cwe...)

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead.
(Well, I think this is true,, it means he loves you and respects you either)

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.
(Awas aja ampe enggak..hahahaha...)

Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you.
(Ya ya yaaa, asal jgn kebanyakan ngegombal aja, basi!!)

Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!!

SON of GOD

Son of God, purest light
Lord on high is here tonight
Stepping through this sacred sky
Suddenly our eyes behold
Heaven's perfect plan unfold
Son of God

Son of God, love divine
Timeless one step into time
Who could dream of such ɑ thing?
With us now, the King of kings
Men and angels bow and sing

Singing alleluia, alleluia

-a beautiful song written by Michael W. Smith-

Why Should We Complain ?

Sering ga sih kita complain?? Pasti banyak hal yang pengen kita complain-in. Suka ga puas bgt ngeliat diri kita sendiri. Anything that we have, never been enough for us. Start looking for comparison to others, start looking for some wrong things in ourself, for what? For COMPLAIN. Does it look necessary?

Complain is not always the best ways to change anything. I cannot say that life is smooth, straight, and perfect. Its so wrong, its not called life anyway. Sometimes life’s sucks, boring, painfull, unfair, and some others. And we always complain about any of those sucks things. Why is this happened to me? Why do i have this life? Why are those people seems so lucky? Why God never give me what i want?

I do ever faced a bad things. And it felt teribble. And as a human, i start to complain to God. Kenapa sih gw harus ngalamin ini? Kenapa bukan orang lain aja? Emang gw salah apa? Then, i felt so lucky because God give me His sweet answer for my questions. I found it in my grandmom’s room. This answer was hangin’ on the wall. It said like this :

Our Father Knows Best

Our father knows whats best for us
So, why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain

We like the sound of laughter
And the merriment of cheers
But our heart would lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tears

Our father test us often
With suffering and with sorrow
He tests us, not to punish us
But to help us meet tomorrow

For growing trees are strengthened
When they withstand the storm
And the sharp cut of the chisel
Gives the marble grace and form

Our father never hurts us needlessly
And He never waste our pain
For every loss he sends to us
Is followed by a rich gain

And when we count the blessings
That God has so freely sent
We will find no cause for murmuring
And no time to lament
For our father loves His children
And to Him all things are plan
So He never sends us pleasure
When the soul’s deep need is pain

So whenever we are troubled
And when everything goes wrong
It is just God working in us
To make our spirit strong

Then, after i finished read it, i just smile. I felt that this is my rain, and my sunshine is yet to come. Kadang pernah ga sih kita mikir, kalau kita nggak pernah ngerasa sedih, kita ga akan bener-bener tau rasanya bahagia. Its just life teach us a lot. We learn that people cannot avoid pain. Cannot avoid suffer. Cannot avoid lost. But life also teach us, that we can always face that kind of sorrow. Just don’t give up. Stop complaining things. Just be brave to find your new hope, your true happiness that God prepared. Its not only about the matter of time. Its about your genuine heart to face it. Just let God handle it. And everythings gonna be wonderful in time. Trust me, guys. Its really true and it works on me.

So, just think hundred times to start complain. See this picture below? If you complain about your life, what about them??





C'mon guys, just think about it!!!! Bless you alwaysss....^^,

my beloved OMA..

i just wanna write about my grandmother, because i wanna show the world how wonderfull she is..
Sekarang umur oma udah 73 tahun..tapi oma tetep aktif di gereja sebagai pengurus ini itu..masi aktif ikut acara baksos ini itu dan selalu bawa kebahagiaan buat semua orang...hihi...i thank to God everytime because i have her..sosok yang luar biasa, sosok yang kuat dan tegar, dan hidupnya hanya untuk Tuhan. And see, bagaimana hebatnya Tuhan berkarya dalam hidupnya..

Sekilas ttg oma :
Oma, mama dari papaku, Melanie Pangalila-Broers..istri dari seorang marinir asal Manado yang hidupnya selalu didedikasikan untuk kesejahteraan orang lain, opa, Bert Pangalila...opa udah lama meninggal, udah 42 tahun yang lalu opa meninggal. Waktu opa meninggal, umur oma masi 20-30an. Masi sangat muda dan dikaruniai 5 anak yang masih kecil-kecil (bahkan waktu itu papaku masih di perut oma). Opa meninggal dalam kecelakaan pesawat di Menado. Oma sangat terguncang, bahkan oma sempet hilang ingatan selama 2 tahun akibat meninggalnya opa yang tidak pernah disangka-sangka.

Sejak meninggalnya opa, oma hidup sendiri dengan kelima anaknya. Oma menjadi single parent buat anak-anaknya. Oma kerja keras membanting Tulang demi menghidupi anak-anaknya. Banyak banget cobaan dan kesulitan hidup yang dialami oma dalam membesarkan anak-anaknya. Mulai dari anak-anaknya yang nakal, masalah membagi waktu antara kerja dan ngurus anak, bahkan masalah ekonomi pun oma alami. Opa sama oma dulu bukan orang yang kaya raya, oma harus kerja keras untuk menghidupi anak-anaknya. tapi toh oma nggak pernah ngeluh. Dia cuma berpegang teguh sama Tuhan Yesus. Oma punya keyakinan yang kuat, bahwa kalau kita bergantung sama Tuhan Yesus, kita nggak akan pernah dikecewakan walau seberat apapun masalah yang kita alami.

Yang luar biasa dari oma : dari sejak opa meninggal sampai detik ini, oma ga nikah lagi. Bahkan terpikir untuk menikah lagi pun enggak. Oma handle semuanya sendiri. Waktu aku tanya, "kenapa oma ga nikah lagi?" oma cuma bilang, "karena oma cuma cinta sama opa". Ketika semua orang nanya, "kalau menghidupi anak 5 sendirian sangat berat, kenapa ga cari suami untuk meringankan beban itu?", oma selalu bilang, "aku cuma menggantungkan hidup ini sama Tuhan Yesus, dan Dia yang akan meringankan beban aku". Oma berhasil nyekolahin kelima anaknya sampai sarjana. Bahkan Om iwan, anak oma yang ke 3 lulus dengan predikat memuaskan di Belanda, dan sekarang bekerja sesuai bidangnya sebagai insinyur pesawat terbang. WOW!!itu semua dari hasil kerja keras oma seorang diri dan berkat kuasa Tuhan yang begitu besar buat hidupnya.

Kalau oma sakit parah, oma selalu bilang, kalau oma selalu ngerasa opa dateng dan jagain oma. What a beautiful thing. Opa masih selalu jagain oma. This is called True Love. Aku bersyukur bisa merasakan dengan sangat nyata betapa hebatnya perempuan seperti oma. padahal oma waktu masih muda cantiik bgtt. Berkali-kali ada laki-laki yang mau ngelamar oma. Tapi oma selalu nolak, karena buat dia, cintanya hanya untuk satu orang, yaitu opa. Meskipun kadang oma ngerasa berat untuk menanggung beban hidup sendirian, tapi oma sosok perempuan yang luar biasa. Oma punya kesetiaan yang sungguh sangat luar biasa yang mungkin sangat jarang kita temuin di jaman sekarang ini.

Semua anak-anak oma selalu bilang, opa memang pahlawan dalam arti harafiah, sebagai pembela negara dan bangsa. Namun sosok pahlawan sesungguhnya di mata anak-anaknya yaitu Oma. Oma yang berjuang membesarkan 5 anak sendirian, tanpa didampingi suami, karena oma hanya punya satu cinta, yaitu opa. kesetiaan luar biasa ini yang selalu oma tanamkan pada anak-anaknya. Dan aku bersyukur aku punya oma seperti dia.

my brother and i made a song for her. It dedicated to oma kami tersayang. Dan terinspirasi oleh kesetiaannya yang luar biasa. Kalo Tuhan mengijinkan album adek aku keluar, maka lagu ini ada di salah satu lagu-lagunya. Judulnya 'Tetap Setia'. ga sengaja lagu ini kita bikin, waktu lagi iseng aja nyanyi-nyanyi. Dan ternyata hidup oma udah memberi arti tersendiri buat aku dan adek. Sampai kita mendedikasikan lagu ini buat oma. we Love u oma...

ada lagi satu lagu yang diciptain om iwan buat oma, kita nyanyiin lagu ini sama2 (anak-anak, menantu, dan cucu-cucu oma) waktu oma ngerayain ultah ke 70 tahun. its about 3 years ago. Ini lirik lagu buat ultah oma waktu itu :

Life of many winding roads faced in faith and heart of love
Standing tall in God, full with kindness
You've turn the sorrow into joy with a gentle smile for all
Hard of stone has change trough your prayer

Bless you a faithfull friend of God
A song of joyfull shout
reff : may life be good and kind to you in everyway
so God He loves you He love you, yes You

Lagu ini dibuat berdasarkan kisah nyata kehidupan oma. Dan di mata anak-anak serta cucunya, oma sangat luar biasa. Sosok yang sangat tough, strong, and inspiring.
I do believe in true love becuse of her. I believe that true love is only exist for one heart. Ga akan bisa terbagi lagi, meskipun udah dipisahin sama takdir, nothing can compare.
Buat aku, oma sosok yang bikin aku kuat. Aku berharap oma selalu ada, meskipun itu ga mungkin, tapi paling tidak, aku berharap, oma masih ada untuk menggendong cicitnya..Amiinn...

i love u oma...mmuuaaaccchhh,,,,be here always oma..but even it can't be happen, you'll always in my heart..